While depression remains one of the most prevalent mental health conditions worldwide, experts say misconceptions about the illness continue to harm those who suffer from it—especially when friends and loved ones respond with dismissive or minimizing comments.
One of the most common—and damaging—phrases those with depression hear is: “But you have so much to be grateful for.” According to Claudia Giolitti-Wright, a psychotherapist based in New York City, this well-meaning remark can do more harm than good.
“It implies that gratitude should cancel out and suppress depression, when that’s simply not how the brain or nervous system works,” Giolitti-Wright said in an interview. “You can feel absolutely numb and be grateful at the same time. These truths coexist, and when we fail to hold space for both of them, we risk silencing the people who need support the most.”
Despite ongoing research, scientists have yet to pinpoint a single cause of depression. What is known, however, is that it is a complex condition involving brain chemistry, genetics, life experiences, and environment—not a matter of personal choice or a lack of appreciation.
Mental health professionals stress that responding to depression with oversimplified advice or comparisons often leads to more distress for the person already struggling.
Another common misstep: telling someone, “It could be worse.”
According to Giolitti-Wright, this response undermines the legitimacy of someone’s pain by forcing a comparison to greater suffering elsewhere. “You’re essentially saying their pain isn’t valid unless it reaches some arbitrary standard,” she explained. “It can make people feel guilty for their emotions, which only intensifies the self-blame that’s already common in depression.”
Instead, experts suggest using empathetic, open-ended statements like, “What you’re going through sounds very painful. I want to understand it more.” Such responses acknowledge the person’s experience without judgment, allowing space for vulnerability and healing.
Mental health advocates continue to call for better public understanding of depression and more compassionate communication. As Giolitti-Wright notes, “When someone opens up about depression, the goal isn’t to fix it in one sentence. It’s to listen, validate, and let them know they’re not alone.”
